Things I Teach My Niece

I'm about to recount a story. Let me set the stage for you:

Wal-Mart.

Enough said.

The woman in line behind us had a classic case of tummy-hanging-waaaaaay-down-past-pants-peeking-out-of-shirt.

I leaned over to Kelsey, "Would you like to know the definition of a dickey-do? Discreetly check out the lady behind us." As we're leaving, "That is a dickey-do. When your stomach hangs down farther than your dickey do!"

My sister overhears the conversation at this point and chimes in, "But what is it called on a woman?"

I paused, deep in thought. "A vickey-do?!"

Tell me we are not the best role models ever!

This DOES Always Happen...

...in MY family scrabble games. See this post!



Oh, xkcd.com, I love you so.

(The veteran scrabble player would notice the "ostrich" option. The Espinoza scrabble player would refuse to use it!)

Never Play Scrabble With My Family

Enough said.



(Though I feel it necessary to point out "veins" and "rod" as they were feeling a little left out of the arrow action.)

E-Mails

I e-mailed this to Chris at 9:00 a.m.

"You know how I told you the other day that my farts weren't stinking? They're back. With a vengeance.

And I know you wanted to know that. And that it just attracts you to me rather than repels. (That's what I tell myself anyway.)

I love you more."

And received his reply at 9:02 a.m.

"Tell yourself whatever you need to so you can sleep at night."

And I still love you more.

Nope still more."

Sigh. I love him.

I Waste Time...

...looking at crap like this.



From this site: http://xkcd.com/

Thanks, awesome hubby, for sharing it with me.

Oh. And I think I'll try this one day. Just to see what the outcome is like. I mean, I live in Utah. It's bound to be hilarious, right?

Anyone willing to bail me out of jail?

For Real!

Ask Sylas and Bryce who makes the best pancakes in the world and they will answer, "Bumpa!" My parents are short order cooks when their grandkids are around. Especially when it comes to pancakes. Whatever they request, Grandpa will attempt to make it. This weekend their requests were for letters (in the past it has been shapes, objects like dog bones, and so on. When I was growing up he made us Mickey Mouse). He poured an X for Xaria, T for Tylan, S for Sylas, and baby e for Bryce. Why a baby e? Who knows, this is Bryce we're talking about. It was what he wanted, and Bumpa obliged. So when my sister set the kids plates on the table I noticed something:



Whoa.

Mind you, I had to arrange the plates in this order because I needed a picture of this. But like I had to inform those who were teasing me about my gross mind - I had to get it from somewhere! My mom says it's all from my dad. He says no way, it's all from my mom. Either way, the pancakes gave me a good laugh.

The Latest Flight of the Conchords

I am in love with these men. Major obsessive crushy love.

"The ladies love the feel of the wheel..."

LOL!